The Hard Truth About Social Media: Part One-Comparison and Jealousy

When it started, social media seemed like a more efficient way to stay connected to loved ones. And in some ways, it still is, but it also shows us what is going on in our loved ones lives, without forcing us to engage. Do you remember when we had to pick up the phone to ask a friend:

 “What are you doing tonight?”

“How did your job interview go?”

“How is your Dad doing after his heart surgery?”

“How is life as a mama treating you?”

“How is writing your new book going?”

 Let’s face it, the climate of social media gives us an easy-way-out, and we have to be intentional about connecting with those we love. Social media has instilled a lack of intimacy in relationships, or to be more accurate, a false sense of intimacy. It links us to something our “friends” are experiencing in their lives, but do we pick up the phone to tell them so?

Keep in mind, we’re not just “friends” with people we love and champion after, we’re friends with people who have hurt us, who WE have hurt, who we have not spoken to in over 10 years,  and even those we have always been jealous of [gag]. Unfortunately, even with some of the positives of connectedness social media provides, it has become a breeding ground for comparison and jealousy. If we are honest with ourselves, we know we can struggle when we see someone documenting one or multiple of the following experiences:

 • A new house (Can they really afford that?)

• A new car (No seriously, can they?)

• Go on a great vacation (Lucky me, I get to see a picture of you sipping a margarita.)

• Lose weight (I don’t even have a caption for this, it’s too complicated.)

• Meet their person (Aren’t you 2 years younger than me? WAIT YOUR TURN.)

• Get married (If I see one more wedding picture, ugh… I’m so lonely.)

• Have a baby (First try and she’s pregnant. Yet I need a hormonal exorcism from fertility shots.)

• Get a new job (They have the perfect job… will that ever happen for me?)

 I’m not saying that this happens every day, but we live in a world of endless wants and dreams. Social media exploits the desire for more that resides in each of us.

“If I could only have _______ I would be happy.” I know this statement is naggingly familiar.

This thought is part of why social media yields “comparison” on steroids. If comparison festers, it breeds jealousy. Jealousy brings out our worst self. If you have not struggled with comparison on social media, then you either are not on social media or you have set manageable boundaries for yourself (more on this to come). Comparison and jealousy give way to false truths, negative self-talk, and, ashamed as we are to admit it, negative talk about others. Because you see, if we explain away someone’s success or even turn it into something negative, we feel better about ourselves. Does this sound familiar?

 “Oh man, I would never want a baby right now”

“Thank God I’m not married this early”

“I bet they are in a ton of debt”.

 It’s time to focus on the issues that social media creates, and we allow to fester within us. When something makes us feel bad, needy, less than, or jealous and we allow it to continue, what does that say about us? When social media affects our state of mind, what other things does it breed besides comparison and jealousy? How can we journey towards a content heart despite all of the negative affects social media can have? Stay tuned.

 Thanks for stopping by! Jen