The Hard Truth About Social Media: Part Four- The Inability to Be Present

It should come as no surprise that social media is a major culprit in our inability to be present. Instead of enjoying dinner, we take a picture of our food. Instead of talking to our friends, we stare at our phones to see what others are doing.  I’m absolutely been guilty of taking pictures of my food because eating is my favorite past time and I think that food is art. I have said multiple times during this series: It is okay to be proud of the experiences you are having. But when the desire for recognition overcomes the experience itself, therein lies the problem.

Using social media has become so inherent, it no longer feels like we are making a choice to be absent, because it is intrinsic. To me, this is disturbing. I have recognized it in myself and in others I know. We unconsciously reach for our phones because something we are doing has bored us for a moment. We gesture for it because we are alone in public and are uncomfortable with how others might perceive us. If we’re looking at social media on our phone, then we hide our isolation; we’re still in relationship (The Social Media Relationship). This is not always a conscious action, but it is an action just the same. It takes a great deal of effort to stop this absentee cycle and remain engaged.

There are several daily scenarios that can demonstrate our discomfort with the present:

• When you attend a performance, and you have to watch the performance through a sea of cell phones.
• When you go to dinner and the people next to you are staring into their phones instead of conversing with friends.
• When you are left waiting in ANY scenario in public (whether it be waiting on a friend to use the bathroom, arriving at a restaurant early, waiting in line at the grocery store etc.) 
• In these scenarios social media connect us, but not directly. It is a disingenuous connection that offsets our temporary discomfort (boredom, waiting, isolation etc.) We have slowly but surely lost the ability to participate in our own story.

I recently gave up social media for 40 days because I felt that I was subconsciously reaching for my phone for no reason in too many scenarios. It almost felt crazy to me, sort of like my hand was not linked to my brain. Disconnecting was one of the most freeing things I have ever experienced. When I was alone, I did not grab my phone, I sat still, remained calm and looked around. I looked into people’s faces, I said hello, I smiled, I engaged them. There was no comparison, no self-focus, no desire for unnecessary spending and no absenteeism prompted by social media. I was all there, all in, and focused on those around me.

As I’ve said before, existing without social media is totally possible, but not likely or expected. Would it be easier to just cut off and avoid the negative side effects? Probably. But won’t you see the greatest return simply by guarding your mind against the beast social media brings out in you? I certainly have. Productive and safe social media usage for you and those around you requires appropriate boundaries, just like day to day relationships. Give social media the recognition it is due, because it is powerful. We were not created to live an absentee lifestyle. We were created to LIVE the life that we were given, with the people we were blessed with. WE are greater than social media and we have the know how to rein it in. So let’s rein it in.

Thanks for stopping by! Jen